I Don’t Get the Hype: Dunkin’ Donuts Is Mass-Mediocrity at Its Finest

The Cult of Dunkin’: What Am I Missing?

Let me be clear right off the bat: this isn’t a call to arms. I’m not saying burn your Dunkin’ gift cards or rip the styrofoam cup from your coworker’s hand. I just want someone — anyone — to explain to me how and why Dunkin’ Donuts became the nation’s comfort brand. Because from where I stand, it’s one of the most aggressively average institutions I’ve ever encountered.

And yet, people adore it. Obsess over it. Wait in drive-thru lines longer than some marriages. They swear by the coffee. They post about it like it’s a lifestyle. They wear Dunkin’ merch unironically.

But the product? The experience? The quality?

Lukewarm. Overhyped. Disappointing.

This isn’t about being a food snob. I’ll demolish a bag of gas station chips like it’s a five-course tasting menu. But the devotion people have to Dunkin’ — the way they elevate it like it’s some essential thread in the fabric of American identity? That’s what baffles me. And for the sake of public discourse (and my own sanity), I need to break this down.

A Donut Is Not a Donut Is Not a Donut

Let’s start with the obvious. The donuts.

Dunkin’ Donuts was founded on these things. It’s right there in the name. But if you’ve ever had a donut from a local mom-and-pop bakery, you know how insulting this comparison is.